Thank you Crazy Four Books for having me today on your lovely blog. I am so excited to be here!
Thank you! I'm so very happy that you wanted to take part! :D
What do you envision their greatest characteristic to be? Zombies know what they want and won’t stop until they get it. No matter what life throws at them, they don’t die. (unless you smash that brain) They never give up when a meal is near. For example, if you climb a tree, they’re also very patient and can wait you out. They’re definitely in touch with their emotions. They reach out to loved ones still alive. If Mom dies, she comes back and wants a hug as she reaches out for you.
Um…don’t give Mom that hug!
Their worst? Bad, stinky B.O. And if that’s not bad enough, they’re quite selfish with only ONE thing on their mind. Nope, it’s not what you’re thinking. LOL. It’s their insatiable hunger for living flesh. They’re not human anymore. They’re monsters, animals, waiting to eat you alive.
What two creatures would you love to see go toe to toe in a battle? You will be judged for creativity. ;-) Feel free to describe the battle. Fur against fang.
A wolf pack has just found a nest of vampires.
The setting: A creepy graveyard with patches of fog swirling everywhere.
Ding. Ding. Ding. Are you ready to rumble?
The werewolf pounced on the vampire and the two supernatural creatures tumbled. The wolf ripped into the vampire’s neck, whipping his enemy against a huge gravestone. In a blur, the vampire traced back and attacked. He lifted the wolf up and threw him high into the air. The wolf yelped as it crashed into the towering cemetery gates. They continue to battle it out, biting into each other like savage beasts.
Oh, man, this is some epic battle!
So who won? The vampire or the werewolf?
I’d love to hear your thoughts! Be creative and finish this fight. I’ll let Brenda pick the winner and give him/her $10 in Paypal cash. (don’t forget to leave your e-mail address in your comment so we can contact you if you win)
Choose three of the following and tell us what your creature would do with them, make out of them, use them for or what reaction they would have to them: an apple, an gemstone, a silver chain, a fish, a rat, a deer, a toad, a piece of pizza heavily dosed with garlic, a flower, treasure belonging to someone else, fire, a spider, a worm, a ball of string, a microphone and speakers, a wooden club, a mirror, a book, a cemetery, a boat, a moonlight bonfire, a sunny afternoon, a walk through the forest on an overcast day, a wooden stick, a Popsicle, a broom, a tree, a lost person, a baby, a body of water, a cross, a cage, wolfs bane, a rock, a rubber band, a chicken, a rabbit, a cave, rope, or a piece of candy.
My 3 choices:
1. A lost person: Sally’s toast. She got separated from her group at night in the woods. Suddenly, she hears a twig snap. She gasps. Guttural chanting and moaning makes her stomach lurch. Her heart races and she swears she’s trapped in some kind of lucid nightmare. It can’t get any worse, but then she realizes there’s more than one. Gasp! Hungry, brain-munching zombies burst from out from the vegetation. The horde limps and stumbles toward Sally until she’s completely surrounded. There’s no escape. The hideous creatures lumber closer. A disabling fear cripples Sally. One hisses, flashing its black, sticky teeth at her. Missing chunks of skin are missing from its bulbous stomach, and ropes of intestine dangle, dragging behind the undead freak with every lumbering step. She jumps as filmy white, glazed-over eyes connect with hers. Horror and sheer terror wash over her. One bites viciously into her shoulder. Another sinks its nails deep into her arm. She flails and tries to fight them off. She screams as their teeth sink savagely into her face. They tear her apart, munching on her flesh—gnawing, biting, and chewing—all while she’s still alive watching. Her hysterical screams fade off into the night.
Not a good way to go. WARNING: Don’t separate from your group and get lost in the forest during a zombie apocalypse. And if you do, then bring along your two best friends: Mr. Gun and Mrs. Crowbar. Another wise choice is to bring your bat because it never runs outta bullets. But even that wouldn’t help you against a horde. So stay hidden with your group!
2. A chicken: Feathers fly. The squawking intensifies. My zombies devours the poor bird. The front door of the farmhouse slams open.
“Who’s there?” the farmer cries out.
He walks into the night with his shotgun.
The corpse stumbles through the bushes and attacks the farmer from behind. He loses his balance and falls. The zombie takes full advantage and starts to devour the intestines of the farmer. I won’t even describe the screams, but trust me, it’s something you’ll never forget. Lesson: Don’t come out alone when investigating who or what is eating your chicken during the zombie apocalypse.
3. A sunny afternoon: The zombie’s body just deteriorates and rots some more in the hot sun. Pew. Talk about stinkin’. Now that’s foul!
What’s your favorite weapon for a zombie fight? Depends. Am I out of bullets, or do I have my 9mm handy?
Your mag’s dry, and a zombie’s right on top of you. What do you go for? Bludgeoning. Blunt force trauma always does the trick.
Agreed, but what will you hit them with? You have to consider weight, lethality, and comfort. Besides, those kinds of weapons require a pretty big arc, and that could give a flesh-eater a few extra seconds to get that lethal bite in.
Yeah, every melee weapon carries risk. The sledgehammer is pretty effective and causes massive, epic destruction. Nothing can survive that kind of blow. The downside is that their heavy to lug around.
How about a machete, katana, or axe? You know firsthand that you can cut off a head in no time flat. “True. But the katana is high maintenance, because it has to be polished and powdered constantly. Plus, they chip easily. Let’s go with a titanium crowbar or a pipe. Nothing bashes a head in like those. I’d say they’re 150 percent effective. Another favorite of mine is the baseball bat. I can crack a skull open with one blow using a Louisville Slugger. But it’s messy, with lots of blood splatter. A crowbar may be the best choice. If you aim right, the claw end can puncture the skull and rip through the brain. Not as messy.
As long as it doesn’t get lodged in the skull. Yeah, that’s always a risk, but a crowbar can also be used as a tool. Not only can you bash a few heads in, but you can also pry open a window, doors, and boards or even break glass with it. Every zombie survivalist should own at least one. Speaking of versatility, an axe can be used to chop wood or break down doors, and a machete takes care of any tall grass and branches that get in the way. Excellent choices, all of them.
A buddy of mine owned a flanged mace. Now that thing could disintegrate a human skull in a single strike. I guess that’s why the Mongolians loved them so much, but those weapons are hard to come by. Unfortunately, Genghis Khan never opened an eBay account. But you can find a bat, pipe, or crowbar just about anywhere.
What do you think is the worst weapon? Golf clubs, frying pans, and tennis rackets.
I don’t know about that. I know you said you are a bit, uh…culinary handicapped, but I’m pretty sure you could get the job done on a zombie with a cast-iron skillet. Yeah, but they’re heavy and take a lot of work to swing around. Not as heavy as the sledgehammer though. I think a chainsaw is one of the worst. They’re loud, heavy, need fuel, and easily clog with zombie guts. Plus, the blood splatter is unbelievable. That makes them great for the movies but not so great in real life. Who wants zombie blood splashed all over their face? Definitely not a good weapon of choice for zombie combat. It’s totally glamorized by Hollywood. I also think the hammer is a poor choice. It puts you well within biting distance. Unless you’re talking about a war hammer, like Thor carries. Now those are perfect for skull-crushing.
Which type of monster do you think would make the best love interest for your monster and why? Boy meets Ghoul. What handsome zombie doesn’t want a ghoulfriend? The worst? A human. They better date at their own risk because a zombie will just like them for their brains over their good looks.
What scares you? Zombies! Yeah, they’re dumb but they can overwhelm you with their sheer numbers. And being eaten while being alive, now that terrifies me.
What is your monster most afraid of? Zombie hunters with crossbows. They’re deathly afraid of Daryl Dixon on The Walking Dead.
What makes it happy? Getting some brains or intestines to snack on.
What is your monster’s favorite meal? Brain Stew.
What do you think is the most mis-construed idea about zombies? Zombies get a bad rap. Everyone thinks they’re serial killers. But the truth is, they’re just hungry and infected.
What is a least known trait about them? Before rigor mortis sets in, zombies are at their most dangerous.
Do you truly believe that there will be a zombie apocalypse? No. But it’s fun to watch on t.v. or read stories. I love The Walking Dead!
Could you love one? No. The second he ate the waiter on our dinner date, it’d be over between us.
What would you do if a loved one became a zombie? I’d give them Dean’s cure in The Zombie Chronicles.
What is your favorite type of monster to write about? Zombies and vampires.
Read about? I’d have to say the same. Although I’m not seeing a vampire as a monster. They’re always hot, hunky, impeccably dressed, and always making out with a pretty heroine. Give me a hot vampire any day! Damon Salvatore would be perfect!
Thank you Crazy Four Books for having me today! I had such a great time! And if anyone wants to stop by my fan page and say hello, I am here.
Thank you Chrissy! Thank you for the fun and in depth zany answers and for sponsoring an awesome giveaway!
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